Spreadsheet Jokes

Next Joke

Return to The Spreadsheet Page

256 Columns

Excel Cartoons From User Friendly

A Sneak Peek at Excel 2004

VBA Humor

Ellen Feiss Uses Excel

Excel is Also a Spreadsheet?

The Aspiring Writer

The Wife vs the Mistress

If Excel Were a Car

Take Out Your Aggressions on Excel

Excel's Hidden Dialog Box

Microsoft Banner Ads

Scientists Tell Us

Top-10 Signs You Purchased a Bad Spreadsheet

Genie in a Lamp

Another View of Charting

Famous Cells and Ranges

Test Your Knowledge of Excel Pivot Tables

Shakespeare's Favorite Formula

A Bunch of Riddles

Lotus Cartoon

Are You a Spreadsheet Junkie?

Spreadsheet Poem

Pilot Joke

Spreadsheet Taglines

Spreadsheet Anagrams

Cannibal Joke

Spreadsheet Consultant Joke

Spreadsheet Glossary




Are You a Spreadsheet Junkie?

You might be a spreadsheet junkie if...

  • You think the fifth integer is "Windows"
  • Your doctor recommends an IV - and you think of the last column in a worksheet
  • You try to press Alt+F4 when you need to close your car window.
  • You think the song "Home on the Range" refers to cell A1.
  • While driving down the street, you are confused by the numbers on the houses - they don't appear to be valid cell addresses.
  • On Usenet, you check comp.apps.spreadsheets even before alt.binaries.pictures.erotica
  • Your wife says "If you don't turn off that damn machine and come to bed, then I am going to divorce you!" -- and you chastise her for omitting the "else" clause.
  • You are reading a book and try to press Ctrl+PgDn to get to the next page.
  • You get in an elevator and double-click the button for the floor you want.
  • The numbers 8,192, 16,384 and 65,536 have special significance to you.
  • Your dog's name is "Macro."
  • You try to enter a formula into a word processing document.
  • You actually use one to balance your checkbook.
  • Your reaction to the question "Are you saved?" is certainly not one the preacher expected.
  • You have a web browser bookmark for http://www.j-walk.com/ss/