Excel Cartoons From User Friendly
A Sneak Peek at Excel 2004
Ellen Feiss Uses Excel
Excel is Also a Spreadsheet?
The Aspiring Writer
The Wife vs the Mistress
If Excel Were a Car
Take Out Your Aggressions on Excel
Excel's Hidden Dialog Box
Microsoft Banner Ads
Scientists Tell Us
Top-10 Signs You Purchased a Bad Spreadsheet
Genie in a Lamp
Another View of Charting
Famous Cells and Ranges
Test Your Knowledge of Excel Pivot Tables
Shakespeare's Favorite Formula
A Bunch of Riddles
Are You a Spreadsheet Junkie?
Spreadsheet Consultant Joke
If Excel Were a Car...
- It would crash two or three times per day for no apparent reason. The driver is often
hurt, but the car itself receives no permanent damage. You'd just accept this fact,
restart the car, and begin your trip again.
- Occasionally, your car would fail to restart after a crash, and you'd have to reinstall
the engine. For some strange reason, you'd just accept this too.
- You would be forced to buy a new model every 18 months, and your old model would have no
resale value. Each new model would be bigger that the previous one, require more gas, and
would operate differently. Furthermore, parts from the old car would not be
interchangeable with the new car.
- You could call a special phone number when you had a problem. The phone would be staffed
by people who know less about your car than you do.
- There would be a special Macintosh model, powered by the sun. However, it would only run
on 5 percent of the roads and require different driving skills.
- You would have to spend additional money to buy the operating manuals.
- The oil, engine, gas and alternator warning lights would be replaced by a single warning
light: "This car has performed an illegal operation."
- Before engaging, the airbag system would display a message, "Are you sure?"
- Every time you looked under the hood, an obnoxious cartoon character would appear and
ask if you need help. No matter how many time you refused help, it would keep appearing.
- A special feature would let you automatically record the route for a particular
trip, so you could repeat the trip automatically later on. However, after repeating the
trip you always end up at a different location.