Special Events

Spam University periodically sponsors special events for our students and faculty. Here's a summary of the events planned for this academic year.

The Famous Spammers Roundtable

The Famous Spammers Roundtable is one of our most exciting events. Leading spammers from across the world gather for a lively discussion of issues that affect the spamming industry.

Legendary spammer Alan Ralsky will be on campus
and take part in a Spammers Roundtable.

The participants in this event are not your common everyday spammers. These are the cream of the crop, and each one of the participants is listed on the prestigious ROKSO List at Spamhaus!

Here's a partial list of well-known spammers who have agreed to participate this year:

Alan Ralsky
Bernard Balan
Bubba Catts
Husein Gandhi
Laura Betterly

Everyone is invited to this event, which will be held during the Fall semester (the exact data and time to be announced).

Admission: $60.
Large cookies will be served ($2.75 each)

Partnering With Microsoft

The biggest event on campus this year will be a special appearance by Microsoft Chairman Bill Gates.

Bill "Bill" Gates will demonstrate Microsoft's upcoming "Spam Machine." This amazing device consists of special hardware and software that will make spamming easier than ever. And that means more money in your pocket, and more students enrolled at Spam U.

"The Spam Machine is capable of churning out more than 1 million spam emails per hour, 24 hours a day, seven days a week. And best of all, these messages are 100% untraceable," said Gates.

Gates will also provide the details regarding the exciting new "Spam Partnering" program that will revolutionize the spam industry.
Admission: $200.
Medium cookies will be served ($2.49 each)

Coping With Rejection

We're pleased to announce that the world's most prestigious psychologist, Dr. Joyce Brothers, will deliver a speech to the student body during the Winter semester.

Topic: Copying With Rejection.

Being a spammer can be depressing. For example, it's not uncommon to find that 99.985% of your potential clientele hates your friggin' guts. Dr. Brothers will explore ways to deal with the depression and cope with potential rejection.

Here's an example (no charge) of the type of advice you'll receive:

"No matter how much pressure you feel at work, if you could find ways to relax for at least five minutes every hour, you'd be more productive." - Dr. Joyce Brothers, Famous Psychologist

(Note: Laughter not allowed during the speech.)

Admission: $100.
Small cookies will be served ($1.95 each)

Spam U Summer Concert Series

This year's outdoor concert series will be the best ever. We've finally managed to book Jody Carver and Johnny Cucci, fresh from their "Hot Club of America" tour. The highlight of the show will be their rendition of "We Spam and We Don't Give a Damn."

Join them for an evening toe-tapping and finger-snapping music you won't forget.

(Note: Red jackets are required)

Admission: $30 and $60.
Miniature cookies will be served ($.75 each)

Graduation Day

The highlight of the academic year, of course, is graduation day.

Our hard-working students put down their books. They enter the working world and begin their spamming careers. It's a time of joy, and a time of new beginnings. And the world becomes a better place to live.

Here's a lovely graduation day poem, written by one of our recent grads.

I learned some writing
I learned some grammar
From this day forward
I'm a full-blown spammer

The photo below was taken at last year's graduation ceremony. This year's even promises to be even bigger and better.

Admission: $50
Bring your own cookies.