Admissions

Spam University receives thousands of applications every month. Regretfully, we can't accept everyone who applies. Consequently, we have stringent requirements for acceptance.

We've found that the best Spam U students have the following characteristics:

Attended at least four years of elementary school.
No more than three felony convictions
The ability to count to 20 without removing your socks
Toilet-trained (at least for #2)
No more than 36 tattoos
Familiarity with computers (i.e., you've seen one in a store or on TV)

If you meet these qualifications, we encourage you to apply. Even if you don't meet these qualification, you should apply anyway. You never know...

Just send your name, address, phone number, email address, and a check for $249.95 to cover the application processing fee.

Spam University
Admissions Office
P.O. Box 144
Youlose, MS 38861

And if you somehow managed to get a credit card, we accept those too.