||Spam University receives thousands of
applications every month. Regretfully, we can't accept everyone who
applies. Consequently, we have stringent requirements for
We've found that the best Spam U students have the
- Attended at least four years of elementary school.
- No more than three felony convictions
- The ability to count to 20 without removing your socks
- Toilet-trained (at least for #2)
- No more than 36 tattoos
- Familiarity with computers (i.e., you've seen one in a store or
If you meet these qualifications, we encourage you to apply. Even if
you don't meet these qualification, you should apply anyway. You
Just send your name, address, phone number, email address, and a check for $249.95
to cover the application processing fee.
P.O. Box 144
Youlose, MS 38861
And if you somehow managed to get a credit card, we
accept those too.